Black and White Rainbows
by Strychnine Laces
Summary: His blood was black on the white floor. His life was a living countdown. Christmas day, he would be dead. There was no god with enough power to save him, and so how could one freakish man even dare to hope? Roxas wants to die. [Akuroku] [AU]


**Important:** Before anyone reads any further and complains: this is **Akuroku** centered. Axel/Roxas. Slash. Maybe not best buds, but certainly in love. Yes, there will be Riku/Sora on the side, and maybe a few more. Yes, the girls will still have a point and a purpose in this fic. I like them. :D

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. It's terribly horrible, really. Some yaoi-loving girl must get high in the ranks with all of these game companies and... influence them. Well, more than we already have, anyway.

**Note:** xD; This was supposed to be a Christmas fic, as in the most pivotal moment occurs on Christmas so it's supposed to be finished by Christmas, obviously. ; I just don't think it's going to happen. Soorrrry. Chances are though, if I get happy reviews, I'll still finish it earlier than if I hadn't got happy reviews? I hate it when authors do that. oo; Honestly, so I'm not asking for reviews, really. It'll get finished one way or another.

**Summary:** Twin brothers are usually similar in most instances; the Strifehart twins were complete opposites. Sora was hopefully addicted to life. Roxas was hopelessly addicted to death. It's a countdown to Christmas, the day Roxas dies.

**

* * *

**

**Black and White Rainbows**

Story of a Life

Blood trickled down his arm, liberally gushing from the slices at his wrist. No heed was paid to the minor cut – it wasn't vital enough to earn his attention, it was a mistake and a waste of time and effort. A miniature pool of blood was in the making, as the blood dripped incessantly. His blood was black on the white floor, a stark contrast, a marvel that went unnoticed.

The rope fell just short of the wayward pipe, just short of his saving grace. Over and over the goddamn rope missed and Roxas was starting to find humor at his own incompetence.

He was trying to commit suicide.

He couldn't even get the rope hung, couldn't bear slicing his wrists anymore...

It was pathetic.

Never before had he wanted to laugh so hard and it was a new found challenge in keeping his petal pink lips sealed and free of laughter. Once he started, he wasn't certain he'd be able to stop. His hands were shaking, he wasn't sure if it was from the stifled laughter or from something more profound, or maybe the amount of blood he'd lost, but it didn't deter him. The rope was too short, Roxas was too fucking short, and the goddamn chair was too fucking short – it didn't matter, he was going to die. He licked his lips, took a deep breath, and steadied his trembling bloody hands and threw the rope for all he was worth. The rope took pity on his soul and slipped in the space between the ceiling and pipe – it was tittering so close to falling, just on the very edge...

The front door slammed shut.

It was wrong.

No one was supposed to be home for hours, the movie probably hadn't even started.

And yet he could hear that familiar footfall going down the silent hall, resounding stupidly loud, overly dramatic.

Wide blue eyes shifted between the rope in his hands and his own closed door. If he left the rope now, it'd fall and the gods would hate him enough he'd never get it back up and he'd lose his balls and the blood on him and the floor would tell everything. He wouldn't get a second chance if he were seen now. Teeth ensnared his bottom lip and he maneuvered the rope, pushing up at the right angles. Distantly, he heard his name falling from his brother's lips in confusion. He managed to jump and grab the dangling end pulling it down quickly and making the one required knot and then the more intricate morbid knot.

It was sad how well his fingers knew how to create a noose.

It was tragic how comfortable the noose felt around his neck.

When the door to his room was pushed open and two sets of blue eyes met, Roxas's decision didn't waver in the least. He stepped off the chair.

The room was filled with ear splitting snap.

The rope broke and Roxas fell to the floor and crumbled tragically in his own small pool of blood.

He squeezed his eyes closed, incurably pissed off that he was still alive and his brother was right there.

He was fucked.

---

"So," silky hair and a seductive voice interrupted his daydream. The bell signaling the end of class must have rung. Roxas blinked his blue eyes dumbly at the a finely manicured fingernail pointed accusingly at him, just inches from his eyes really, before looking up to the boy perched dangerously on the edge of his desk. "You, me, wild animal reproduction?" He whispered in a seductively dark tone, eyes staring at him from under thick lashes, lips sprawled in a smirk. Perilously, he leaned on the desk, skin-tight shirt inching up revealing more skin than Roxas thought was legal, most particularly once the clingy nature of the pants were added in.

This... guy dressed like a two dollar whore and draping himself across Roxas's desk like it was his corner.

This was Riku.

Despite popular opinion, he was as harmless as a housecat. This was proven by the fact he was BF4-E with his brother and by thus, Riku was a wet kitten.

Roxas pushed him off his desk with minimal effort and he landed gracelessly on the floor. While that usually would have created a fuss, similar to a catfight, the brother saved them both the waste of breath. As proven, Riku's a wet declawed kitten.

"Riku, I got it!"

Riku stared from his newfound seat on the ground as Sora skidded to a stop in front of them. Roxas didn't look up, he knew Sora's cinnamon brown spikes swaying in his chaotic motions and naturally he'd have the biggest grin on his face, blue eyes glittering with happiness. Roxas didn't bother to stare, just continued gathering up his things, not bothering to look up and see the various tones of gray jumping around. Sora was an excitable creature; there was a certain danger associated with giving too much attention.

Blinking coquettishly, Riku managed to fashionably rise to his feet, and flip his shimmering silver hair over his shoulder. "Got what?" He asked gracefully for all those not inhabiting Sora's mind.

Sora bounced excitedly in front of Riku, hands flying about in bizarre nonsensical motions before he latched onto Riku's arms like he was about to propose.

Roxas pushed the chair under his desk and settled the strap of his messenger bag on his shoulder, sparing his brother a worried glimpse.

"The suits! Matching suits!"

Figured.

Riku livened up a little, invisible wet kitten ears perking, and an excited conversation of Soriku began as the pair led the gay parade out of the room, Roxas just following more out of habit than interest. The hallways were bustling with life, celebration not that the two boys just steps ahead of me could have even noticed. This was the official start of winter break.

They were gone, in their own world.

Winter ball was days away and Sora was one the most active members on the ball's committee and Riku was the president, Roxas rationalized sympathetically for himself. Neither was saying anything, but Riku and Sora were hopelessly in love. It was obvious to even the blind and yet neither had even attempted to do anything. Now, they'd decided to go to the ball as 'friends' and Roxas had a startling suspicion that one or both of them were planning for something to happen. Sora had specifically gotten permission to stay with Riku until the ball.

Not that it mattered much to him, he had his own plans for tonight.

He made no attempt to deter the conversation from the event he would gratefully not be in attendance to and instead silently followed them out of the school building. Overcast skies greeted them, but no one noticed. Riku and Sora were chattering incessantly and excitedly, oblivious to even Roxas's presence. After a few more steps behind them, Roxas finally heaved an irritated sigh and swerved to the left. No need to interrupt their good conversation, really. Give Sora a little more time with the boy, more chance for something to happen.

Roxas stuffed his hands into his Morbid Threads jacket and tipped his blue eyes to the ground. Around him the vehicles hummed, the people muttered, and the colors were all the same black and white. All the actions were appropriately muted to Roxas as he continued down the usual path for his last rendezvous with a hot mocha from some family run coffee shop. The family was always struggling with money and maybe that's why they were always happy to see Roxas. Everyone always had ulterior motives, but Roxas entered the shop anyway.

The woman behind the counter instantly brightened, and the smile she placed on him wasn't eagerly returned. His eyes drooped guiltily back to the floor, before he managed to force some semblance of a smile on his lips and ordered the usual mocha. There were three people in the small shop, and the girl that ordered before me stood dutifully beside the counter. Roxas stood several steps away from her and made sure to place his attention away from her. Her order was filled in a short minute and Roxas stepped up to the counter, carefully shifting his eyes to stare at the clock.

She used to try to start up conversations, was a genuinely friendly person. She didn't try as hard anymore as she hummed a small tune to herself behind the counter. Roxas wondered idly if she would even notice when he stopped these after school visits. His order was filled in seconds and the cup was warm in his hands.

No one would miss him.

The door chimed shut behind him and suddenly the wind outside was all the colder, chilled and harsh and the only warmth his hands had was the hot mocha. He shuffled down the near empty path, enjoying the overcast skies and bitter wind a little too much. The steam that had been modestly rising from the cup ceased with a silent breeze, and tentatively, Roxas brought the cup to his lips. It was hot, not burningly so. It was the perfect temperature for the cold weather and it tasted good enough. He supposed it would make a fine last mocha.

"Roxas!"

It didn't take him straining his to hear his name being called at that sheer volume, but it was the voice that was calling him that set him on edge as he froze. Roxas wasn't the most friendly of people, really. Only a handful of people were on a level of friendship to call out to Roxas if he passed by – this voice was not one of those people. Mocha and all, Roxas turned around.

Nuclear red hair was all blue eyes saw in his gray world. All the other colors, his clothes, his bag, it was all muted. Red hair and green eyes, unnatural, the both of them, but so perfect for the character before him. This ridiculous character with tattoos under his eyes and nuclear red hair. He couldn't see the colors, he knew he couldn't, but they were right there.

He was at the other opposite corner of the street bent over, panting and cursing about how bad smoking was on the lungs like he was an old man. Roxas agreed with the thought – he certainly looked too old to be associating with freshmen in high school. The guy waved one limp wrist and took a step forward and Roxas's blue eyes widened as he suddenly became a wave of color. Logically Roxas couldn't see the colors, but he knew what color every article of clothing was. He just knew it, could imagine it without having to shut his eyes.

The guy was wearing neon green shoes with all sorts of scribbled ink and his shoelaces were rainbow colored. Rainbows. Faded blue jeans clung to his legs like they were his skin, with silver chains dangling and black bondage straps connecting the legs. He was ridiculously tall and skinny, and a black belt hung sideways on his curvaceous hips and repeatedly proclaimed 'i like boys'. Roxas wondered if it was ploy. The look was finished off with a vaguely loose black and white long sleeved shirt baring a few fashionable rips and glimpses at pale skin.

The guy was apparently very trendy for an old man.

And gay.

Very, very, _very _gay.

Roxas's first inclination was to walk a little faster before the pedophile caught up with him. He was obviously decrepit with age, so the idea was still toyed with idly, as he sipped on his mocha and watched the guy play frogger trying to dodge cars to get across the street to him.

Roxas kept hoping he'd get to see an awesome wreck of ultimate death, but for an old guy, he played an incredibly good game of frogger. Roxas rationalized that frogger was an old game, someone like this decrepit man would have mastered the game.

By the time he was on Roxas's side of the street, jingling like a walking Christmas carol from all the chains and about as tall as a Christmas tree, he'd caught his breath and was grinning manically at him. Bizarre green eyes slid over Roxas's body, gaze lingering at inappropriate places and observing a little too much. "Do I know you?" Roxas finally asked at length, glaring at the man over his mocha. Roxas was fairly certain he didn't associate with college boys, but it seemed polite to ask anyway.

The simple question apparently wasn't expected, or maybe it was the glare, or the apathetic tone – Roxas didn't' know, but the dude certainly was taken aback by something. He gaped at Roxas for what Roxas counted to be a full minute before he snapped back to reality and scratched at his tattooed cheek, looking painfully thoughtfully. Roxas suspected it had to have been difficult. Thinking, that is. He'd heard awful tales about dye and brain cells.

"Yeah. Remember, Axel? Y'know, we met once – years ago," he said finally, waving one hand dismissively. "But that's besides the point. I'm here because a friend of a friend of a friend promised that you could help me. I know all of the above, by the way. It was just like a chain effect – I went to one who told me to go to another... and, well. You know how that goes." Hands were flying about wildly as he explained and he was obviously a hand-talker – you've met his kind, the kind that accidentally hit people because of excitement.

Blue eyes stared blankly, impassive towards all of the above.

The guy, Axel took his silence as an assumed negative and started up again, "Well, see... I went to Demyx first, the guy said no, but sent me to Riku, and Riku said no, but this cute little kid with Riku... Sora, yes, your brother Sora. He said that you guys' parents are gone and that you two wouldn't mind if I crashed there a couple of days." Axel was grinning again, this weird action that just seemed glued to his face. It made it seem dishonest, _counterfeit_.

Roxas didn't like him, didn't like that fraudulent look, but most importantly... "Wait, Sora said that?" Blond eyebrows drew up in confusion, petal pink lips curving downwards, and Roxas was looking the very epitome of disbelief.

Axel nodded, a simple bob of his tall head, and his hands slipped inside his pockets, looking perfectly casual talking to someone probably incredibly close to half his age and height.

Something didn't fit right and Roxas dutifully tried again. "Sora told you, that you could stay with us?" He repeated the question carefully, eyes narrowing. He trusted the chained, tattooed, nuclear red haired freak about as far as he could throw him. Naturally, Roxas couldn't even pick the man up.

Another more hesitant nod, as Axel was apparently catching that something was up.

"Liar," Roxas accused quickly, harshly. His lips swerved into a full frown, eyebrows still drawn together, as he hurled a hard glare at Axel. "We aren't even allowed to have company over." Attention departed, Roxas turned on heel, veering around and moving along has fast as his short legs could take him without looking like he was running. He tossed his half finished mocha in a trashcan as he passed by it, idly realizing he wasn't in the mood for it anymore.

After a minute of shocked staring, Axel rushed to follow him.

"No, no, no, wait," the red haired psychopath was saying, rushing his words frantically trying to win Roxas's doubt. Even a frown was curled on his lips, something Roxas had yet to see on his face. Obviously, though, he was just trying to get Roxas to believe him somehow, anyhow.

All of it just rubbed Roxas's nerves wrong, made him irritated instead of patient for excuses. The usual simple line Roxas's lips stayed in was now an unhappy curve. "Drop dead."

The insult hardly made a dent or any impact at all. The guy was still following, chains making all sorts of commotions as Roxas sped up. "Here, I'll call Sora and you can talk to him yourself." The miniature cell phone was already in his hands and he was dialing the numbers and keeping up with Roxas's short legs with no problems. Abruptly, the speedy movements came to a halt and Axel stumbled a little at the sudden stop.

Roxas growled unhappily, indignantly, "You have his number?" What was Sora doing giving college boys his number? Blue eyes narrowed, not because of Axel for once, but because of his brother's own carelessness. Honestly, he was too friendly.

"Friends, remember?" Axel repeated, as though this wasn't something Roxas could easily comprehend and he might attack during his confusion. "Friends." The word echoed dramatically as Roxas's glare intensified.

He watched as the cell phone was lifted to Axel's ear, watched, listened as Axel talked to his brother. It had to be his brother. He could almost hear Sora's voice. Roxas was generally apathetic. He was not apathetic towards his brother being friends with this freak pedophile whom he no doubt met through Riku. Before Roxas made a fool of himself trying to snatch the cell phone from the top of Christmas tree sized Axel, the phone was offered up.

With every sort of pissed off attitude Roxas had in his body, he snatched the phone from Axel's offering hand, and placed it to his ear. "What the hell are you thinking? Giving your number to some old guy and telling him he can stay with us?" Roxas demanded, very loudly and very unhappily. "Have you lost your mind?"

Sora laughed nervously, while Axel chuckled in amusement – Roxas shot him a cold glare. "I've known him for years. He's practically Riku's brother, and you." Sora said through the static filled phone. There was a certain sort of accusation to that and Roxas didn't find it fitting at all. "I thought you like him?"

Roxas spluttered ungratefully, "I do not even know him!"

There was a small silence and static filled moment, one of disbelief. Finally, Sora reprimanded him, "_Roxas,_ that's mean!"

The confusion was getting irritating, and Roxas just growled into the phone, a noise that was scary in it's own right. Axel was rather fond of it, thought it was more than a little sexy, and sent Roxas a lewd glance that went unnoticed.

Sora must have been caught on to his twin's confusion, and mercifully explained, "Remember our thirteenth birthday? When I had party for the both of us and how much you hated it?" Roxas nodded dumbly, mostly oblivious, mostly still confused why he was bringing up an old birthday party. "Well, Riku brought Axel, along... and you two talked the entire time."

This new revelation was in fact, a revelation as Roxas was still oblivious to ever previously meeting any guy with flaming red hair and cat like green eyes named Axel. He wasn't the kind of guy you spent an entire night talking with and forgot. At length, Roxas denied it, "Did not..." Confusion was weighing his argument and truth down.

"Did too," Axel quipped in, obviously eavesdropping.

The two words, the confidence held in them made Roxas flush slightly. He believed his brother, suddenly, even though he couldn't recall it. All the same, he sent Axel a harsh, frigid reprimanding glare. "Shut up!" He said, voice barely below a shout. He was irritated and confused... he really wanted to go back to being apathetic. Life was so much easier that way.

"Listen, Roxas," Sora's voice said quietly, instantly calling up all of Roxas's attention. "Just let him stay over. I called mom and she agreed that it would be okay. He can tell you everything that went wrong, but basically, he just needs a place to stay for a few days. Just let him crash in the living room."

Roxas was feeling horribly cheated out of something, mostly his suicide. He didn't know the guy, the guy was a freak, and his mom and brother wanted him to stay in their house. Roxas succumbed to fate slowly and reluctantly, "Just the living room, no where upstairs at all." The words were said slowly, with command and purpose, and accented by Roxas glaring at Axel's happy smile.

"That's fine," Axel said, that manically grin back in place.

Roxas, suddenly less than thrilled to even consider speaking with his brother, thrust the phone into Axel's hands, while declaring loudly to the world, "I hate my life." There was a quiet pause, as he leaned in to deliver a glacial glare at Axel's Cheshire cat grin. "I take that back, I hate you."

* * *

**After note:** Ta-da! Chapter one finished, my friends... and you're probably a little confused and lost on a couple of things. :D; Sorrrry? I'll update soon.

Yoooou, yes you with the arrow nudging up to hit the back button. Did you enjoy this? Hate it? If you felt strongly either way, I encourage you to hit the review button down here. xD; Because I'm not sure if I like it or not.


End file.
